Yet so many people seem enchanted enough by the decadence described in Fitzgerald’s book to ignore its fairly obvious message of condemnation. Gatsby parties can be found all over town. They are staples of spring on many Ivy League campuses and a frequent theme of galas in Manhattan. Just the other day, vacation rental startup Airbnb sent out invitations to a “Gatsby-inspired soiree” at a multi-million-dollar home on Long Island, seemingly oblivious to the novel’s undertones.
It’s like throwing a Lolita-themed children’s birthday party.
What Benny Needs: DC Comics Caped Shot Glass
Why Benny Needs This: Lazarus had his pit, He-Man had his power sword, and Benny has his whiskey. Nothing gives you the courage of a lion or the strength of a locomotive like a nice shot of Jameson. It also makes you seem better looking to people you think are better looking than you but are really not and vice versa.
Capes just make everything more heroic. It’s a god given, scientific fact. The reason you don’t see people wearing capes nowadays is because no one is super. Everybody sucks. So why not drink yourself into an alternate universe with an officially licensed piece of DC property. When you take the capes off, the shot glasses go back to their secret identities as… shot glasses; on your shelf. Put the cape back on and it’s like you’re performing oral sex on a caped crusader. Just remember that there are no such things as special powers and after taking several shots of your favorite elixer to the head, you’ll turn into a sobbing, sloppy mess and your superhero name will be Douchebag.
Thanks go out to Elizabeth F. for the submission. I can’t keep up with everything Benny needs so every little bit helps. Excelsior!
What Benny Needs: Focus-Creation Folding Wall Mounted BBQ Grill
Why Benny Needs This: BBQing is a rite of passage performed generation after generation across the globe. Why do you think so many dads don the ceremonial apron, cleanse the grill every summer, carefully prepare the tools of the ritual: tongs, skewers, spatula and various savory elixers, before sacrificing their meaty offerengs in a small pit of fire to the sun-blood god Barabebecuegenon? If they don’t who knows what the mighty Barabebecuegenon may do? A good old fashion smiting?And if your offering is paltry, then you will burn… your food into bricks of tasteless death.
Thankfully, our French speaking saviors at Focus-Creation have done us a huge solid by making a wall-mounted grill that can pretty much be affixed to any wall. It’s a god damned spacesaver. You can adjust the height to however tall or short you are and grill the shit out of some hot dogs and some ribs. Maybe even toss a couple of shrimp skewers on there for the “vegetarians”.
Thank you o’mighty Barbebecuegenon for this our summer feast. And my you rain sweet hellfire down on all vegans.
There was a party on May 3rd at the University of Southern California with the majority of attendees being African-American and Hispanic USC students. The party was registered with the school, and there was another party directly across the street being attended by mostly Caucasian/White students. Both parties had similar noise levels according to dozens of accounts from both sides (source).
Two cops arrived to the party with the minorities and told them to lower their noise level; the party’s host told the attendees to go inside the house and they resumed the party in there with lower volume. A few minutes later the cops came back and students began leaving, and the cops arrested the host. More and more cops began to arrive and soon a helicopter came. All of this was while the students were filing out and more and more cops entered the home; furthermore, the white party continued across the street and some officers even went there to tell them to stay inside and safe. A white student told reporters that “basically they didn’t stop our party at all. They had no problem with us.” (source).
As the minority students saw all the cops and attempted to leave, some were tased, and some were slammed to the ground and arrested. Many resisted on the grounds that they had no idea why they were being arrested seeing as they were leaving peacefully and were over the drinking age (the party required ID). Even more cops arrived (source)(video).
Later that night at about 4:30am, a resident at the house where the white party was thrown was awoken by thudding. He rose to see two LAPD officers trying to speak to his roommate. They ordered him to wake up everybody in the (co-ed) house and as they did so they stumbled into two female residents shirtless and asleep, and one of the officers simply stared. (source)
The reason that they were in that house was to gather statements about how LAPD acted correctly against the minority students but the students at the white party’s house gave factual statements that did not incriminate the minority students how the officers wanted. They have complained about their home being entered without a warrant in the middle of the night but have yet to hear back.
On Tuesday USC will have an open forum in regards to the racial profiling that happened (at the party and in the past) at the school but that is not enough; this has to be more than a local issue and should be made known nationally. USC has issues with racial profiling and it is time that it stops. Anyone can help by signing this petition and making it big. (Photograph source)
I wish that I was the creator of this t-shirt. i would be giving myself so many high-5s right now.
This country is really fucking stupid sometimes.
Good read. The tip of a bigger conversation about race, rape, and celebrity.
white privilege radically changes the appearance of Tsarnaev bros
This is how brofiling actually works in real life. The Week Magazine ran with this image as their cover sketch.
Just so it is said, clearly and unambiguously: the Tsarnaev brothers are white guys. They are white. The FBI’s own wanted poster for Dzhokhar Tsarnaev lists his race as “white”, but you would never know it from the cover image on The Week.
Hold up the cover to someone else, and ask them how many white people they can see on the cover. Chances are they will identify Gabby Giffords on the top left and the image of the Boston policemen (all white men) on the top right, but how about those two guys in the center? Nope, not a chance that anyone would say these caricatures look white.
Why? Because in addition to being white they are also “Muslim”, which is the current dehumanizing “Other” that whiteness has constructed as a sanctioned target for violence in US popular culture.
This is how white privilege works in media representations and everyday life: when the criminal suspects are demonstrably white men, seize upon any aspect of difference and magnify it such that they become Othered, non-white, and menacing. If it is too hard to do so, simply dismiss them as aberrations and isolated cases of insanity. This is also how white culture, specifically the process of whiteness in conjunction with white privilege, portrays several non-white identities, including those that are now considered white but at one time were decidedly not so. For example, see here for how the Irish were depicted as violent apes or lazy drunks in the late 1800s to early 1900s.
This is quite accurate. Also, the term “brofiling”, genius.
Fun fucking pillows for sale.
Fun fucking pillows for sale.